Simple changes have made an enormous difference to my 86 year old Dad as he adjusts to living alone with home hospice care.
My Dad always loved being outdoors. I remember him hunting pheasant in the woods behind our house in Michigan and fishing with friends. My sister and I were often called from our rooms for a nature show that we HAD to see on TV. Days off were usually spent working in the yard. When he married my step mother, he found the perfect companion - someone who would go camping with him.
Life is rarely fair and in the past two years they were nearly shut ins. My step mother had reduced mobility and suffered from vertigo, which meant that the house was often darkened by closed blinds. My Dads lungs were filling with fluid and he spent much of the day napping. Their world was reduced to time spent in easy chairs. But they had each other - and they were happy.
In September my step mother passed away. The hospice team warned us to prepare for Dad following closely behind. It has been our mission to make the time he has left the best that it can be. And it is surprising how much little things can make a difference.
A charming hand made bird feeder was being used as decoration - hanging inside the porch and never filled. We moved it to a sunny spot and brought in 25 pounds of bird seed to keep it filled. We continued their long standing habit of putting peanuts out for the Blue Jays and squirrels and moved an unused gift - a wrought iron standing feeder - nearby. We moved the neglected birdbath to the same area and added a hummingbird feeder. We planted container herbs which become part of our meals. Voila! We have a mini wildlife habitat.
Whenever the weather allows, meals are on the porch where Dad can enjoy the wildlife. We noticed Dad leaning and straining to see the birds from 'his' chair in the den and convinced him to switch to the chair with the best view. Finally, we realized that his chair at the head of the dining room table gave him a view of the kitchen and moved his seat so he could see the birds.Conversations with Dad are now frequently interrupted when he notices a squirrel or Blue Jay visiting to find peanuts or a flock of birds congregating at the feeder.
And those meals on the porch? They are accompanied by song birds who seem to share our appreciation of old blues standards.
